Sweetest Bag Lady EVER

New polka dot bag from Jo

Originally uploaded by Bake & Destroy!

Ok, so I’m about to freak some of you guys out by showing a side of myself I don’t make public very often. It’s the side of me that gives a shit. I decided a long time ago that I was too old and too crabby to wear shirts proclaiming my opinions on eating animals, American beauty standards and whether or not you should kill your local drug dealer (to my Flickr friends, if you look hard enough, you can actually find me in a pretty sweet t-shirt addressing that one in particular) and on the surface it seemed as though I stopped caring about those things. But I didn’t. Just because you don’t wear your heart on your sleeve doesn’t mean you don’t have one, as black and cold as it may be. Deep down, under all the tattoos of medieval weaponry and Satyricon t-shirts there is a closet activist. I’m too lazy to participate in fun runs so I donate cupcake earnings to causes I deem worthy and I’m too anti-social to actually talk to anyone, so instead of handing out PETA fliers I just don’t eat animals and call it a day. But I do bring my own bags to the grocery store, I will say that much for myself. Never mind the fact that my mother-in-law sews them all for me, right now we’re talking about me and how great I am.
Anyway, the reason I’m posting this is that I’ve noticed “nice” grocery stores are all about the BYOB (bring your own bag) kick. At Trader Joe’s they even ask “do you have a bag?” at the check out. No one looks at you like you’re blowing a prime opportunity for a free plastic bag, no one expects you to pack your own food into your “crazy” bag, no one bags your shit in plastic anyway and then shoves the plastic bag into your cloth bag and no one rolls their eyes when you hold up your own bag and wiggle it suggestively in their faces. I don’t get it, because even at the shittiest grocery stores they SELL cloth bags now. Are the employees unclear about what those bags are for? Do you think they’re like, “Why would anyone want to buy an ugly ass Jewel-Osco purse for $2?” Blarg! It’s so frustrating! Don’t you just want to be like, “I’m saving the environment, assface! now quit giving me dirty looks and put my over-packaged Boca burgers in the tote bag!”
Alright, so maybe I’m the broad who made homemade ketchup this week end because I’m freaked out about giving Teno high fructose corn syrup, but I’m really not a crazy person. I own a bike, I do not think I’m cool for owning said bike. (Um hi, everyone in Chicago… did you read that part?) I eat dairy, I shop at Target, I own a car. (It’s a station wagon too, word up.) I only really eat organic when I buy it at The Bleeding Heart Bakery because I’m a glutton. What I’m saying is I’m a normal person, I do a lot of bad things, but the one good thing I try to do all the time- bring my own fucking bag to the fucking grocery store- gets me shit every time!
But I won’t take this injustice lying down folks, oh no. As you read this I am shooting e-mails to customer service rooms all over the country. It occurred to me that a lot of you might be facing similar issues so I decided to post a sort of generic form letter than you can copy, change here and there (or not) and paste into an email of your own to your local grocery store that gives you attitude about bringing your own bag. I’m also going to post some e-mail addresses of stores I’ve been to that treated me like an asshole for not wanting their precious plastic bags and I’m asking that you leave comments with e-mail addresses to your local stores too so we can all e-mail and bitch together!
It’s the laziest revolution ever and I’m at the helm in my Hello Kitty pajamas eating American Idol cookies and cream ice cream.
So here’s my letter, alter it as you please and viva la revolution!

I appreciate your store’s efforts in reducing consumer waste by offering reusable cloth bags for sale at the check out. Undoubtedly this action alone has prevented tens of thousands of plastic bags from ending up in landfills already. I’m writing today to ask that you inform your employees, specifically baggers, about these efforts as in my experience, they seem to be unaware of the existence or purpose of cloth grocery bags. I make an effort to bring as many cloth bags with me as I can when I shop your stores and the baggers are consistently confused by my actions. Sometimes they ignore my bags and bag my items in plastic anyway, other times they roll their eyes and act like I’m making some kind of outlandish request. I’ve noticed that other stores like Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s ask customers if they’ve brought their own bags, or if they notice that you have they simply ask you for the bag and pack up your items. I don’t recall ever leaving one of those stores frustrated because I had to unpack my items and then repack them into my own bags, or because the bagger gave me attitude about my request. I ask that you inform your employees about the growing trend of customers bringing their own bags to your stores and try to make the whole experience less intimidating for those of us who are making an effort. Thank you.

Or… you can send them something far more hilarious like the e-mail my friend Tara just forwarded me:

Dear Jewel Baggers,
Please stop rolling your eyes at me when I come in with my own bags. The place where you work sells these bags as part of their effort to clean up the plastic waste problem this country is facing. They sell them for a dollar each, which is awesome, by the way. Perhaps your managers need to make you watch National Geographic’s “Strange Days on Planet Earth” to get a little perspective on the plastic bag problem. They are already banned in numerous countries. What on earth would you do if they were banned here? No more eye rolling, that’s for sure! In conclusion, when you see me coming in with my bags, please just do your job and BAG.
Sincerely, tree hugger AND frequent customer

Contacts:
Jewel-Osco

Dominick’s

Strack and Van Til (their shit’s broken, I’ll update this when it’s fixed)

Walgreens

Target

Vegan Iced Tea Cupcake with Lemon Frosting

Vegan Iced Tea Cupcakes

Originally uploaded by Bake & Destroy!

Ah yes, I’ve been threatening you with iced tea cupcakes for some time now and I finally made good on it this week end. The legend goes, my mother-in-law Jo (you may know her from her world famous eco-friendly grocery bags) drinks the shit out of this weird powdered iced tea. She drinks so much that she has a bag of it in my pantry… she lives in the coach house in my back yard. It’s like, 25 feet from my back door to her front door. And yet the need for powdered iced tea is so great she stores it in two houses. I was going to make these for her birthday using the powdered tea in the frosting, but at the last minute I chickened out and made her inside out German chocolate cupcakes instead.

So this week end I assembled all the ingredients, minus powdered tea, and went for it. This is basically the vegan chai cupcake recipe from Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World, but without a bunch of spices, plus some lemon zest. I added some notes for you if you plan on making these, and don’t get cute by adding fruit flavored soy yogurt like I did because it doesn’t taste like anything at all. I thought I was pretty clever with my peach yogurt.

So this entire post isn’t making fun of Jo, who is the sweetest person in the world, I would like to add that today her daughter Leslie was carrying a container of Tang in her purse.

For the cupcakes you will need:

• 1 cup soy milk
• 4-6 iced tea teabags*
• 1/4 cup canola oil
• 1/2 cup soy yogurt (plain or vanilla)
• 3/4 cup granulated sugar
• 1 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract**
• 2 tsp fresh lemon zest
• 1-1/3 cups all-purpose flour***
• 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon salt

*Use 4 bags if you just want to say they’re iced tea cupcakes, use 6 or more bags if you want to know it.
** Replace up to 1/2 tsp of this measurement with a flavor complimentary to ice tea- lemon, orange, mint, etc. I’d recommend 1/4 tsp if you’re using something as strong as mint or citrus oil.
***These are very moist cakes. Not fall-apart moist, but they stay squishy for a long time. If you want something a little more firm to the touch up this measurement to 1 1/2 cups of flour.

Then you:
Preheat oven to 375 and line tin with cupcake liners. In a small saucepan heat soymilk till almost boiling, add tea bags, cover and remove from heat. Let sit for 10 minutes. When ready to use stir teabags and thoroughly squeeze to insure as much tea is dissolved in milk as possible.

In a large bowl whisk together oil, yogurt, sugar, vanilla, lemon oil, zest and tea mixture until all yogurt lumps disappear. Sift flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Add to wet ingredients and mix until large lumps disappear; some small lumps are okay. Fill tins full and bake about 20 to 22 minutes until a sharp knife inserted comes out clean.

For the lemon buttercream you will need:

• 1/4 cup shortening
• 1/4 cup margarine, softened
• 2 cups confectioners’ sugar
• 2 Tbs fresh lemon juice
• 2 tsp fresh grated lemon zest
• 1 teaspoons vanilla extract

Then you:

In a small bowl, cream the shortening and margarine until well combined. Add the sugar in 1/2 cup additions. After each addition add a splash of lemon juice and beat well with a handheld mixer. Add vanilla and beat for another 3-5 minutes until smooth, creamy and fluffy.I stuck cut-off straws in some of these and topped the rest with a sprig of organic mint.

More on Mother’s Day…

I’m really concerned with Mother’s Day this year, not because I’ve had a bad one yet. In fact, Tony is almost a professional present-buyer, he always does a really good job. But I’ve noticed since I’ve been back in school and forced to read all the terrible magazines and newspapers I will very likely one day be working for, that no one who writes Mother’s Day gift guides actually has any clue about what a modern mom might want. Yesterday the suggestions in the Red Eye launched me into a full-blown ranting session. I was supposed to be fact checking a story on cancer patients who finish their college degrees, too, so it was really inappropriate. In a nutshell, according to this column a “sporty mom” would love to receive a hideous tennis dress and a “foodie mom” would love a boxy, horrible personalized apron from William Sonoma. I have one word for you, Red Eye: whatevs. This advice comes from the fashion columnist who chose to wear dinosaur print thermal underwear in her head shot. Follow it if you will, but don’t be suprised when you get an ugly apron thrown at your face.

Of course I already posted a Mother’s Day Gift Guide a while back, but I have a few additions and aproximately three minutes before Teno notices I’m not watching Blue’s Clues with him so here goes:

Circa Ceramics is a Chicago-based team of artists who produce beautiful, quirky ceramic pieces for your home and office. I can vouch for their universal appeal as I, a lover of Agnostic Front and mixed martial arts adore them every bit as much as my mom, a fan of the Foo Fighters and Grey’s Anatomy does. Start your mom’s collection this year with something as small as a magnet or as large as a lo bowl. Unless she has a metal plate in her head ala Pete and Pete, she’ll love it.

While spying in my mom’s Etsy feedback to generate ideas about what to get the woman who has everything, I found she’d purchased some Watanwatan pouches. Upon further snooping, I uncovered a shop full of gorgeously made pouches, totes and wristlets. They’re from across the pond, so you might want to order now.

I’ve been a fan of Jenny’s Bake Shop for a long, long time and a personalized “famous cakes” sign from her would be…well, amazing. For $46 you can give your mom- or baby mama- bragging rights for the rest of her life. If you really want to wow her, have Jenny paint your family portrait starting at $350.

Finally, I’m offering a special deal on my own Etsy shop l Mother’s Day only. Buy any Bake and Destroy t-shirt of Collapsible Tote by Jo and receive gift wrapping and a gift pack for free. Shameless self-promotion, yes, but it’s also a pretty sweet deal.

Don’t forget about the special Jessie Steele discount code FORMOM08 for free shipping on orders over $35 until 5/13 and if you have any Mom’s Day specials going on in your shop right now please leave a comment!

Shut up!

Despite my sister-in-law’s shirt which reads, “Flint: Where the weak are killed and eaten,” there is actually something awesome happening in Flint, MI on May 3rd

I don’t get to blog about my husband’s beloved hometown very often, mostly because the only recipes anyone there uses are put to use in meth labs. But it looks like it’s crafters to the rescue! This almost makes up for the fact that all the copper piping in Tony’s grandma’s house was stolen while we were at his dad’s funeral. Oh Flint, you so crazy!

Vegan Chocolate Chip Brownie Waffles

vegan chocolate chip brownie waffles

Originally uploaded by Bake & Destroy!

This recipe comes from Isa Chandra Moskowitz and Terry Hope Romero’s Veganomicon: The Ultimate Vegan Cookbook. I was so excited to get this big, beautiful book in the mail the other day. First of all, these two are the most reliable vegan recipe writers I’ve ever come across. I’ve never had one of their recipes not turn out right and I’d read that this was the cookbook they’d always wanted to write. It’s amazing. Really. It’s so thorough you would not believe it. The entire front section is just about how to prepare different vegetables, beans and grains. It doesn’t sound exciting, but really, there are things I like to eat in restaurants that I’m clueless about actually cooking. No more! There’s no vegetable I’m scared of anymore, not even you, weird, furry artichoke!
There are so many recipes in this thing I took it on the El with me Wednesday and read it cover-to-cover on my way to and from school. People really look at you with pity in their eyes when you read cookbooks on the train, but I don’t care. I knew I wanted to make the Autumn Latkes, Corn and Edamame-Sesame Salad, BBQ Seitan and Crispy Coleslaw Sandwich, Lemony Roasted Potatoes, Pumpkin Baked Ziti with Caramelized Onions and Sage Crumb Topping… ok, I wanted to make everything. But I started with these Vegan Chocolate Chip Brownie Waffles because I had everything I needed for them already in my pantry. This recipe makes a ton of waffles, if you’re just cooking for two you should consider halfing it. I have in-laws for neighbors so I never have too many waffles.

For the waffles you need:

• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 2/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
• 1 Tbs baking powder1/2 tsp baking soda
• 1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1 3/4 cup soymilk
• 1/4 cup water
• 1/2 cup vanilla or plain soy yogurt
• 1/3 cup canola oil
• 2/3 cup sugar
• 1 1/2 tsp vanilla
• 1 cup vegan chocolate chips (chopped)
• 2/3 cup chopped pecans

Then you:

Pre-heat your waffle iron. In a large bowl, sift together the dry ingredients (that’s everything in the list above until soy milk, got it?) In a smaller bowl, whisk together everything from the soymilk to the vanilla. Create a well in the center of the dry ingredients and using your whisk, mix the wet into the dry. Before it’s completely mixed, add the chocolate chips and pecans, the mix completely. It’ll be lumpy bumpy, no worries.
Add about 1/2 cup of batter for each waffle and follow your waffle iron’s directions to cook them. I cook mine until steam stops coming out of the iron. Top with Earth Balance margarine and pure maple syrup and you’re off.

Vegan Coconut Lime Cupcakes for the Stupid and Lazy

Lime Cat is Famous

Originally uploaded by Bake & Destroy!

First of all, this is not what my cupcakes looked like. This is Lime Cat, famous Internet superstar. I’m stupid and I forgot to take pictures of the cupcakes I made yesterday and I couldn’t find any pictures of limes or coconuts that didn’t make me fall asleep. So Lime Cat is taking their place. Second, this is a version of the Coconut Lime Cupcakes recipe from Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World but I’m too lazy to go buy coconut oil and too much of a pig to be OK with their mildy-lime flavored buttercream. So reference this page if you find yourself in need of these cupcakes but also too fat and lazy to make them properly. If you are not a fat, lazy pig just use the recipe in the book because it’s probably better.
That being said, these were really good. Even Tony liked them and he hates everything. I made minis so I had enough left to give my yoga teacher to share with her 6pm class and one student already emailed me to say they were awesome. So there.

Remember- this is the version for those of us who refuse to go to Whole Foods to buy coconut oil and also who want their lime-flavor fucking lime-flavored god damn it.

For the cupcakes you’ll need:

• 1 cup all purpose flour
• 1/2 tsp baking soda
• 1/2 tsp baking powder
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 3/4 cup sugar
• 1 cup coconut milk
• 1/4 cup soy milk
• 1/3 cup soy yogurt (you can use plain or if you find coconut or lime, go for it)
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• 1 tsp coconut extract
• 1 Tbs lime zest
• 1 cup unsweetened coconut (or sweetened, whatever)

Then you:
Preheat your oven to 350 and line a pan with paper liners. Sift the dry ingredients together, set aside. In a large bowl, mix together the wet ingredients- this includes sugar, I don’t know why sugar is considered wet but it is. Mix the dry ingredients into the wet, mixing just until combined. Add the coconut and mix to incorporate. Fill up the cups and bake 22-25 minutes, until the tops spring back when lightly touched. Cool in the pan for 10 minutes, then remove from pan and cool completely on a wire rack.

For the lime buttercream you’ll need:

• 1/2 cup vegetable shortening
• 1/2 cup Earth Balance margarine
• 3 1/2 cups confectioner’s sugar
• 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
• 1/2 tsp lime oil
• 1/4 cup fresh lime juice
• 1 tsp lime zest

Then you:
Cream together the shortening and margarine. Add the sugar and beat for 3 more minutes. Add the vanilla, lime oil and juice and beat for 5 more minutes. Add the zest and mix.

If you want to make these cute, frost the cupcakes and then roll the tops in more coconut. In the book they add lime wedges but I’d mutilated all my limes for zest and juice. Whatevs.

Inside-out German Chocolate Cupcakes

Jo’s birthday cake

Originally uploaded by Bake & Destroy!

I’ve been taunting my mother-in-law Jo with iced tea cupcakes for months now. She drinks this vile instant iced tea powder, I thought it’d be funny to mix it into frosting and frost lemon cupcakes with it. Then I thought about the chai cupcake recipe from Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World and how easy it would be to use black tea instead of chai and then frost the cakes with lemon buttercream. Iced tea cupcakes started to sound pretty good after all. But Jo’s favorite cake of all is German chocolate and today is her birthday so I think I’ll leave the experimenting for later.
These are super easy, and more of a system of assembly than a recipe. The filling and frosting recipes make enough for two dozen cupcakes.

Make the filling first, you’ll need:

• 7 oz sweetened flaked coconut
• 14 oz sweetened condensed milk
• 1 cup chopped pecans

Then you:
Heat the oven up to 350 and put half the coconut and all the pecans on a cookie sheet. Toast in the oven until the coconut is evenly browned, about 8 minutes. You’ll want to get in there and mix it every few minutes to keep the coconut from burning. Dump the toasted stuff, the remaining coconut and the condensed milk into a medium bowl and mix it all up. Set aside.

Make your favorite chocolate cupcakes. My favorite is buttermilk chocolate but you could be a little more authentic and make a German chocolate cake. Either grease and flour your pans or line them with paper liners. I think my downfall with this recipe was paper liners, actually. A better-cooked cupcake will hold up to all the filling much better, and you’ll get that by greasing and flouring your pans as opposed to using paper liners. Anyway, fill the cups about 2/3 full and then add a tablespoon of the filling to the top. It’ll sink a bit, that’s what you want. I usually bake cupcakes for about 22 minutes and then check on them, but these were weird. I think I baked mine for 18 minutes. My usual test for doneness is to touch the top of the cake and if it springs back it’s done. Since these have gooey filling it’s harder to tell. If they’re really jiggly when you move the pan they aren’t done yet, that’s the best advice I can give. Let the cakes cool in the pan on a wire rack for 10 minutes, then take them out of the pan and leave them on the rack.

You have some options with the ganache. You can either make it while the cakes are cooling in the pan, take the cakes out of the pan, dump warm ganache on top and serve them up like molten cupcakes or let them cool all the way, make the ganache and then stick the cakes in the fridge to set up. Because I made these at 9am I chose the fridge option.

To make the ganache you’ll need:

• 8 oz bittersweet chocolate
• 1/2 cup heavy cream

Then you:
Melt the chocolate and then slowly stir in the cream. Stir until smooth. If you’re into making a mess just pour the hot ganache over the cakes, I went to Catholic school so I carefully spooned chocolate on top of each one.

That’s all. Pretty easy. Jo liked ‘em, she kissed me and everything.

Mother’s Day Gift Guide

I thought I’d try something new by posting a gift guide with enough time for people to actually purchase my suggestions. These things are a total pain in the ass, what with the image uploading and the linking, so I hope they’re somewhat useful. As with all my gift guides, this is part wish list, part product review and part “hey, this is cool.” Some moms would totally punch you in the face if you bought them an apron and a cookie jar for Mother’s Day. Me? That’s what I got for my second Mother’s Day and I posted so many pictures of myself showing them off on Flickr I ended up becoming friends/falling in love with a girl at Jessie Steele. The cookie jar company never got in touch. Bummer. If you’re married to more of a face-puncher than a cake-baker you should perhaps not take any of my advice.

As a reformed face-puncher turned cake-baker, however, I can tell you that none of these items cross the line from “hey, this is your hobby and here’s something that will make it more fun” into “here’s a mop, clean the house.” Now will someone please post a Father’s Day guide for 35-year-old straight edge dudes who are into late 80’s-to mid-90s hardcore, skateboarding, Nikes and kitchen appliances? Because I’m scrambling every June.

First up, an alternative to flowers. Flowers are beautiful, I used to love getting flowers from Tony. Then we had Teno and I realized I would rather have the $50 he spent on flowers to get my nails done or to buy things I actually needed. Meet the mom in your life half way with the Les Fleurs du Chocolat truffle collection from Vosges. Prices range from $28-42 for beautifully packaged chocolates infused with organic fruits and flowers. As someone who has eaten a shameful amount of Vosges chocolates I can vouch for the quality and for the “wow factor” upon receiving a box. It’s one of those cases where you feel like you should keep the packaging even though you have no idea what you’re going to do with it.

Sometimes Mother’s Day isn’t about giving your lady what she needs or wants so much as it’s about giving her something she never would have considered buying for herself. And if it’s something that’s going to be really hard for you to put together while she drinks iced tea and ignores the kids all the better. I totally love these delicate mobiles from Sprout Home and I can already hear Tony cussing as he assembles mine in the back yard this summer.

It’s true that my love affair with Leigh Poindexter has rendered me utterly biased toward Jessie Steele, but here’s the thing- I’m only friends with cool people. I don’t have friends who make bad cupcakes or design ugly aprons. Maybe that’s me being a snob, maybe that’s just rad attracting more rad. Who knows? The bottom line is, if your baby mama is a cooker or a caker and you give her a Jessie Steele apron this Mother’s Day, she’s gonna touch your weiner. Enter the code FORMOM08 when you check out from now until 5/13 and receive free standard shipping on all orders over $35!

Mom doesn’t get a lot of chances to put her feet up and pretend she’s living in a peaceful gnome village. So when she does get that rare downtime, make the whole gnome fantasy a little easier with this amazing toadstool footstool from Creatures by Chelsea. Yes, it’s $130, but it’s also a footstool shaped like a toadstool. You can’t argue about this one with me, I’ll win.

If you are currently wearing one of those stick-figure-shaped necklaces with your kid’s birthstone inside my apologies-for many reasons. Maybe that’s your style, and that’s cool, but I think one of those would look really weird with my Venom shirt. So I got this one from Trashed Clothing and it’s a much better fit. Now people can not only ask me, “what does your necklace say” but they can also ask, “what’s a Teno?” It’s awesome and it’s $20.

Unless you’re shopping for a hateful, stinky wretch you cannot go wrong with Lush. Lush in all it’s delicious, amazing glory is an awesome gift for all occasions, but especially for the day when mom’s are supposed to get a break. I specifically picked this gift set, called Bunty, because it contains my favorite Lush scents- cotton candy and sweet vanilla- but if your mom/baby mama isn’t totally obsessed with dessert you’ll find a less edible fragrance for her too. While you’re at it, pick up a massage bar and give her a back rub. A real back rub, not just a sneaky way to touch boobs.

I actually gave Tony one of these for x-mas and I’ve gotten as much use out of it as he has. Yes, Leigh, it is ugly. But it also grows plants in your kitchen. We were spending loads of money on herbs and leafy greens and now we can grow our own organic herbs and stuff right on the kitchen counter. Aerogardens are about $150 and grow a range of produce from herbs to tomatoes to flowers.

I really, really need one of these. The cute little counter top recipe card files are retro and stuff, but my recipes take up a lot more than 4×6″. Right now my recipes are filed in the safe binder as my license from the Universal Life Church and Tony’s awesome rosemary seitan recipe. This one’s $24 from Fred Flare.

A book on activities to do with kids might not be exactly what mom wants, but it’s not a bad idea as an add on to more luxurious things. Like what, finding Bob the Builder on On Demand and popping popcorn isn’t enough? I’m supposed to craft with these dudes now? I actually have really fond memories of crafting with my mom- including the hundreds of paper plate shields and swords I made my little brother Aaron. So when Teno’s a little older this one’s going in the arsenal and if I get it for Mother’s Day I won’t be pissed. $14.95 at most major book stores.

Finally, you need a card that says it all. No pictures of a duck and ducklings, no weird scripty fonts with crap you’d never say. If this card from Maybe You Should Die doesn’t sum it up I really don’t know what to tell you. It might be the greatest $4 you’ve ever spent on a card with cuss words on it for your mom/baby mama.

Well, I hope this list inspires you to think outside the picture frame and flowers box. If you think of something I should have included leave a comment and make sure you tell your mom thanks this Mother’s Day and on your birthday too. This mom stuff is gnarly!

Check out the new stuff I added to this guide right here!

Banana Crunch Muffin

Banana Crunch Muffin

Originally uploaded by Bake & Destroy!

This is an Ina Garten recipe, so it makes a ton of muffins. For the original measurements click here. What follows is a conversion to make one dozen muffins.

You will need:

• 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 cup sugar
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 pound unsalted butter, melted and cooled
• 1 extra large egg
• 1/4 cup + 2 Tbs whole milk
• 1 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
• 1/2 cup mashed ripe bananas (2 bananas)
• 1/2 cup medium-diced ripe bananas (1 banana)
• 1/2 cup small-diced walnuts
• 1/2cup granola
• 1/2 cup sweetened shredded coconut
• Dried banana chips, granola, or shredded coconut, optional

Then you:
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

Line muffin cups with paper liners or grease them. Sift the flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt into the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with a paddle attachment. Add the melted butter and blend. Combine the eggs, milk, vanilla, and mashed bananas, and add them to the flour-and-butter mixture. Scrape the bowl and blend well. Don’t overmix.

Fold the diced bananas, walnuts, granola, and coconut into the batter. Spoon the batter into the paper liners, filling each one to the top. Top each muffin with dried banana chips, granola, or coconut, if desired. Bake for 25 to 30 minutes, or until the tops are brown and a toothpick comes out clean. Cool slightly, remove from the pan, and serve.

And, we’re back.

I sold out of my t-shirts just in time for CM Punk to wear one in his Wrestlemania diary, leading many wrestling fans to marvel at “the wonders of Punk.” As much as I appreciated him supporting me I would like to point out that I sold out of shirts BEFORE he wore one. He already has a huge head, he doesn’t need to take credit for a rush on shirt orders. But I figured I better restock because Michelle Garcia wore one while competing in a recent Food Network Cake Challenge and Hannah Aitchison wore one during filming on LA Ink and soon people who neither bake nor destroy will be looking them up. But for those of you who actually do bake and/or destroy, the shirts are back, they’re on brand-new models and they’re ready to hang in your closet and kick all of your other clothes’ asses. Thank you for all your awesome emails, the boxes of candies, the drawings, the photos and all the other rad stuff you guys have done and thank you for giving me something to do while Tony watches Jerico.